'Sweetness'

Ok, so you hear it all the time. You decide to surprise your mum with a glass of Sauvignon instead of pinot at the dog and duck.

You sit down with your pint, she takes a sip, crinkles her face and looks to your dad, then to you. Then, with a look of pure indignation, as if you've popped your old chap in her glass, gasps, and says,"woah, this is way too sweet for me!"

So you go back to the bar, you relate what your mum has just said to the barmaid and you receive a strange look.

"What do you mean it's sweet? It's bone dry"

" erm I dunno, my mum said it's too sweet"

"it's not sweet"

"Okay, well can I have a glass of pinot instead?"

"Yes, £3.20 please."

How to avoid this 

First of all, you need to know what 'sweet' means. Quite literally, this is used to describe the sugar content in a wine. 99% of wine is dry (low in sugar), the other 1% is sweet and this is called dessert wine, and you don't get dessert wine in the dog and duck.

The common misconception is, confusing fruit with sweetness. Typically your wine will taste of lemon, lime etc. But some wines can taste of pineapple, gooseberries,kiwis etc.

What you tend to find, is that your pinot grigio drinkers complain about sweet wines. This is because, in layman's terms, pinot grigio doesn't really taste of much.
The grapes are harvested earlier, so that it's not too much of anything really. It's the wine equivalent of becks vier.

So, if your mother sticks to the £4 pinot grigio from asda, then know one thing, she likes her wine bland, and stick to this when you're buying her a drink.

But this must be sacrilege? How can someone drink that piss? Wrong. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. No matter how blatantly wrong it is.

This is something I've always thought true, it doesn't matter if your favourite wine costs £2 or £215, if you like it,  then it's the best wine in the world.

The important thing I think, is recognising people's misconceptions.  A Sauvignon Blanc from the pub is not sweet, it's dry,  but it's fruity. A chardonnay from morrisons isn't sweet either.

Just recognise the signs, and don't get caught out. Don't have the bar tender look at you like a two headed creature. Next time mum says the Sauvignon is too sweet, stroll in to the bar and say, "can you get me a bland pinot grigio for my mother, she thinks the Sauvignon has a hundred grammes of sugar in it!"

What is WineLAD?

So you're sitting here, reading this blog post in a slightly confused state right? You associate wine with pretentious middle aged, middle class snobs.

You associate the capitalised 'LAD' with pretentious young twenty-somethings who share Facebook posts about 'unbelievable goals' and 'unbelievable bird's'.

Well that's the whole point of this blog, to bring together two completely different worlds. To take the snobbery away from wine. To show that 'palates', 'bouqets' and 'tannins' are completely accessible to everyone.

Two years ago, I knew nothing about wine, zilch. In fact, I called it the 'devils piss'. It's only purpose was to serve as a cheap pre-drink in my uni days.

But then, I got a job as a wine merchant, I had to learn about wine, and sure I had to confront those snobs. But I learnt a hell of a lot. The biggest thing I learnt? Wine is fun.

We all like a drink, we all like to feel enlightened and we all like the pursuit of knowledge. Well wine gives you all of that. You don't have to be Jane Macquitty (master of wine), Christ, you don't even have to be Johnny Vegas (Piss artist).

All you have to do, is drink wine, and have an open mind. Have you ever been intimidated by a slightly older family member telling you they hate chardonnay? Or felt dumbfounded when an acquaintance asks for your thoughts on the best food match for Rioja?

Well this is your platform, to gain that basic knowledge, and to be able to embarrass that pompous father in-law who lectures you on the 'sweetness' of Sauvignon Blanc.

I'm going to guide you through all the things I learnt when I went from a wine novice to a wine guru.

I'll explain what a vintage really is, what sweet wine is, where is bordeaux and much more.

I hope you enjoy my ramblings and I hope you learn something too. Well at least enough to show an 'expert' up!